...dressing to match my soul

I finally had a thought.  The kind of though that made me me want to start this blog in the first place. 

You know how people say, or at least I've seen this quoted somewhere, that we are not people with souls, but instead souls with bodies?? Or even just saying that its the inside that counts.  Well it's interesting to me, if I really think about it because our physical appearance affects soooooo much in our lives.  So much more than it probably should.  Not that I think outward beauty is useless.  Some would say that but I don't agree.  I think God made physical beauty to be important just like inner beauty, but we do often misuse and abuse the idea of physical beauty. Anyway, I took a moment to think of myself as a soul only and realized I would live much differently if I weren't constricted by this body and this image.  However we were given it for a reason and this bring me to my point... what if we tried to make out outward appearance represent our soul??? If we dressed and made ourselves up to match the condition of our souls.  This may be a scary thought to some I suppose.  It would definitely take some vulnerability but its a fascinating concept to me. 

I mean, if we actually tried to do this it would connect our inner and outer appearance in a way that could be really interesting.  We would continually be trying to better ourselves in order to live up to what we want to look like on the outside, and we would dress more true to ourselves, perhaps even more modest or more unique because we would be reflecting our souls and not dressing for anyone else but ourselves. 

Anyway, its a weird thought.  But unique, and thus perfect for my blog. And I think I'll try it...dressing to match my soul.

since I never went through an official horse phase as a little girl I think I'm entitled to this :)

So I passed all my classes!!! It's such a miracle.  I thank God solely for this.  I feel like I ought to expect him to come through for me by now but I figure one of these days he'll let me fall on my face for slacking off.  Although I guess its in his character to show mercy and give us chances we don't deserve. 

We had a Christmas party, my group of friends, that is.  We don't hang out a whole lot anymore.  We're all in different places in life but I'm glad everyone managed to make it to the party this year. A friend of mine gave a little message.  He talked about how God was born as Jesus to die... the normal stuff.  But something hit me differently this time.  The idea that we are living in the shadow of the cross-- we ought to live everyday remembering what he sacrificed and though we could never deserve it, live the best we can to make the most of what he's given us. Of course we will forget.  We'll always find a way to get distracted or slack off... but God shows mercy.

I'm enjoying my Christmas Break! I even picked up a few new hobbies. Knitting is one. I always wanted to learn but it wasn't until my little sister started to that I actually tried.  All I have to show for this is an ever growing practice swatch so we'll see how that goes... Second, this isn't a hobby, but I want to celebrate Hanukkah... I figure if Jesus didn't, why shouldn't I? Although menorahs are expensive and I didn't get one in time for tonight... the first night... so maybe I'll catch the 7 other ones (another awesome thing about that holiday, it last more than a week! :P). My last hobby is My Little Pony! I started watching the series "Friendship is Magic" at first just to be a Brony (Google it), but now I'm legitimately impressed by this little kids show. And I've even collected most of the main character toys. 

My boyfriend likes to make fun of me but since I never went through an official horse phase as a little girl I think I'm entitled to this :)

As the Beatles say, "Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da, Life goes on!"

So its been like 8 months since my last post... that's so like me. 

Right now I'm super excited about my relationship with God.  It excites me to know that every longing in my heart he put there so that only he can fill it.  I still don't know exactly how to let him do that but just the fact that the deepest parts of me can be touched by God, that he desires to fill all my longings... its just exhilarating!

And I'm holding onto that because I've been struggling in most other areas of my life :/

I have a final tomorrow morning, then one on Friday then I'm done for break! I slacked off a lot this term.  However, I also came to a place where I stopped putting the same sort of expectations on myself as others in my classes put on themselves.  I realized I'm not the kind of person who is willing to stress out and put that much time into school.  Granted, I should put more than I did this past term.  But I have other things in my life that I value more than school, and to shirk them for the sake of grades would be ridiculous.  Still I need God to help me balance it all.  I'm looking forward to having this term behind me.  I may fail a class... or two.  So if I have to retake some I will.

As the Beatles say, "Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da, Life goes on!"

So yeah... Better go to my Chaucer class now

So this is my blog.  I decided to start one because I have awesome and profound thoughts from time to time and I just know the world wants to hear them.
 Or at least I want them written down. That's the main point I guess...

Anyway, I don't really have anything profound at the moment. I just needed to start somewhere.  I probably should be reading some Canterbury Tales for my Chaucer class right now but I'm just so done with this term. I just want to pass my classes and get on with it.  Next term I will be done with all of my Spanish requirements.  I will definitely not be able to speak Spanish though. That didn't really bother me until I was thinking about It earlier today.   It would feel cool to be someone who spoke another language.  But, I guess you should learn another language for better reasons than just feeling cool.  It scares me to speak Spanish with people who actually speak Spanish.  I have the opportunity all the time at work and I don't because I'm afraid I would offend them or something which is probably ridiculous because I don't think I would be offended if I were in a foreign country and someone tried to speak English to me.  I would probably appreciate it. But alas, I am almost done with 2 years of Spanish and I know I will not speak it fluently, most likely ever.  If I wanted to, this would have been the time to learn but honestly I feel like its impossible to learn a language while taking so many other classes. I really feel like education is screwed up.  I mean, shoving so much information in 10 week classes for four years.  I doubt we actually retain much at all.  We spend all this money for the degree and that's what matters.  And that's lame too.  A degree just says you could afford to go to college and were competent enough to pass all your classes. I mean, I think I'm a smart person but I don't think my classes show that at all.  In fact I feel so spread thin by my two majors, my Spanish requirements, my choir class, work, church, family and friends that I barely feel like I'm giving enough in any area.  Instead of doing well on a few important things, I feel like I'm failing at most everything.  I don't feel great about my grades, I am an epic fail at home--my room looks like a mess and I never do my chores, I work only a couple days a week at work and I'm constantly trying to get people to take my shifts so I can do other things, I can't drive--it scares me and I know I'll have to figure it out eventually. And the most important thing in my life, God, I feel like I barely give any time to.  I mean I go to church and I'm a youth leader and I pray all the time but I rarely give God some of my personal time just to worship or get in the word.  And that should be my first priority probably. Although, I know a relationship with God is much like a relationship with anyone else and he understands when we get busy so its okay if we skip out on a night with him to study or something.  But honestly, life would probably be better if I skipped the studying to be with God.  It's not like I don't skip studying to be with my boyfriend or other friends so there's no excuse.

Anyway, I've definitely rambled. But I'm guessing that's mostly what this blog will be.
I have a choir concert tonight and I'm sure it will be fun but I'm never all that excited about something that takes up my Friday night. Next Friday I will be in a play called A Father's Choice.  I'm sure I'll be excited about that though.

So yeah...  Better go to my Chaucer class now